Forced Into Accessing Collective Consciousness Through A Meditative Mind. My first siddhi. A curse or a blessing?
An explanation of what Collective Consciousness is:
All the thoughts that are circulating society, the culture. Becoming aware of them is the siddhi (power). As explained in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras 3.16 — 3.37. Having gone around the city in broke & homeless mode, I picked up a thing or two and came to some genuine insights about the culture. I hear both positive and negative thoughts, although the negative thoughts are affecting me more so because they are being said when I am in a vulnerable state, like when I’m doing yogic asanas or meditating. When I go deeper inside through meditation, these negative thoughts are affecting me more. It’s affecting all aspects of my psyche, physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual appearances. This has broken my self — worth, confidence and has ruined my mind & body. I’m doing everything in my power to regain control again.
This uncontrolled negative mindset (that’s being forced onto me) all stems from back in 2017 when I moved into a new house in the suburbs of Ottawa. I was seeing this Phillipinese girl for about 3 months and things were going well until she went on a trip to Spain for a month. We ended up breaking up and things eventually went downhill from there. I was experimenting with psychedelics at that time and what once was a good vibe, had turned on me and made my thoughts negative. I was hospitalized and mis-diagnosed with mild schizophrenia, and over the past 7 years I was hospitalized 6 more times. Things got out of my control. Eventually I was able to hear thoughts in my mind that were not MY thoughts — My only explanation was that it was a siddhi (power) that manifested to give me some insight on what was going on in my surroundings, this city, this culture. Siddhis are special human abilities that develop once you reach a certain level of understanding in Yoga. I had been meditating since 2013, and still continue to this day.
As I’m practicing asanas in my house, all I hear is “gay”, “fag”, “gaylord” etc. etc. while I’m doing it. A spiritual practice and this is what I’m hearing. Again, these are not MY thoughts, it feels like they are the collective insecurities of men and women in this western culture. I’m trying to heal my spine. I have a herniated disc and is causing lower back pain and sciatica down my left leg. I’m in the process of healing. Being bombarded with this negative mindset is making me not want to do yoga, but I’ll still do it because that’s the only way to cure the root cause of the pain. I hear thoughts of past classmates all talking shit to me and putting me down, and every time I think of the gods of Hindustaan, they talk shit again.
Hearing all these thoughts from people that I once knew makes it even worse. It’s affected every aspect of my life. But I’ve experienced hell in this city, I don’t want to do anything here. Since I’m making this article, these thoughts are saying I’m “ratting” or “snitching” and that I have to live with this negative bullshit my whole life… 7 years of this…
Because of this “mind rape”, for lack of a better word, my whole personality and outer and inner self image took and is taking a hit. My breathing process messed up for over 3 years. Messing up my senses (brahmacharya). I can’t wait to get rid of this siddhi, it’s done nothing but torture me. If I look on the other side, maybe it has enlightened me on what mind state that these specific people are in (their subconscious) and now I know who I can trust and who I can’t.
Here is another video on siddhis:
